The Seinfeld of Blogs (a blog about nothing)

[This is a re-blog (how sad is that) from my first blog entry on MySpace. (originally posted 10/22/2008). Since there were things I just didn't like about the MySpace blogging system, I decided to try out Blogger to see how it goes.]

Or, "Jeremy's being a whiny bitch and just needs to suck up and deal with it"

I've been dealing with a bum leg for a long time. I'd actually consider it a really long time, but I'm still 6 years away from it being half of my life. It's something I've come to terms with as a constant -- death, taxes, linux fanboys bashing all things Microsoft, the Broncos not being able to field a competent defense and leg pain. On the off chance that anyone reads this that doesn't know, I took a little, 4-inch-or-so fall off a skateboard the only time I ever tried to ride one, and spent a week in the hospital as a reward. 1 surgery, 2 plates and 20-or-so screws later, my leg and ankle were put back together. My Lovely Bride has been reminding me for years that I ought to go and see a doctor about it, to get something done since the pain has gotten worse over time. I've always come up with some rationalization or other as to why now's not a good time, or some other nonsense to divert attention from the fact that I suffer from chronic procrastination syndrome. About a month ago, the Lovely Bride noticed that there was swelling in my leg -- not an uncommon occurrence by any stretch of the imagination, but the location was odd. Rather than being located around the ankle, it's centered right about at the top of the outside incision where they put humpty dumpty's leg back together. Finding this odd (and relatively disconcerting), I set up an appointment to have it looked at.

[Some day, I'll write about the HMO Primary Care Physician to Specialist referral "system". It's a good thing I only needed to see an orthopedic surgeon, and not an oncologist or cardiac specialist. That's a story for another day]

Fast forward a little under a month. All kinds of scenaros have been playing out in my head, most of which involve some sort of hardwarectomy, replacement, or other such thing that doctors, especially orthopedic surgeons, do to make pain go elsewhere. I've prepped both jobs, the kids, friends and family for the fact that we're guessing I'm going to be going under the knife for sai..omy, and I'm ready for it. After 15 years of constant problems, pain and magnet jokes, I'm pretty much ready to have the damn stuff out of my leg, hopefully get some mobility back, and try to live a more "normal" life for a 36 year old chubby guy with two kids.

So, we went to the doctor today. Hopes were high -- we were chatting, making jokes, and everything was generally right with the world. X-rays were taken, genetalia was protected, and time was spent waiting for the Doctor.

The doctor's suggestion:
nothing

That's not nothing as in "He got stuck in traffic and we never saw him". Nor is it nothing as in "He's mute, so he really couldn't tell us anything." Nope.

Nothing. As in "There's nothing we can do." Nothing as in "No surgery is going to fix what's wrong. There's two choices, but they're both down-the-road fixes: fusing the ankle, or a prosthetic replacement. In the mean time, here's a prescription for some anti-inflammitories. Have a nice day, see you (and your $40.00 copay) in a week."

Shit.

Dissappointed would be an understatement. I spent most of the last month getting ready, trying to figure out worst-case scenarios. What if they had to re-break my leg? What if the surgery falls around Halloween, or Christmas?

Not once did I imagine that the answer would be "nothing".

Oh, and the swelling? It should go away with the anti-inflammitories. It's not uncommon, just a new thing that I'd never seen before.

In short, nothing.

So, the running total: $70.00 in copays, 1 day off work, prescriptions still to fill.

Result?

You guessed it.